TWC is pleased to announce Mustache October
- By Typicalveteran-
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MUSTACHE OCTOBER COMPETITION
Let's get things straight from the get go shall we. Mustache October is not a contest, it's a cultural movement. For a month. Short-lived by cultural standards, Mustache October will burn brightly while it does.We have all heard of no shave November.Here at Tactical Gaming we have a large military and ex military demographic. Service members still serving today are not allowed to have full beards and must be clean shaven according to AR670-1. However, they can have mustaches. So instead of no shave November we will be doing Mustache October. Like most cultural movements, there are "rules" governing who is part of the movement and who is not. The following are the rules and regulations that will govern Mustache Octobers short, but brilliant life span.
1. All registered participants must be clean-shaven and have the entrance fee of $8.00 USD paid on October 1st unless registered for the pre existing condition category. Picture proof required.
2. Facial hair of any variety is allowed until October 15th, after which point only a mustache is allowed. A mustache is defined as an island of hair that is at least 1cm (root to root) from the nearest body of facial hair. A mustache is an island. Get it? No isthmuses or peninsulas allowed. Picture proof required.
3. Registered participants who shave off their mustache prior to judging, or those who refuse to obey the "island" rule after October 15th are disqualified. Disqualification includes passive aggressive subtle insults and silent judging by all participants
4. Participants will be subjected to a minimum of 2 photographs (before and after) during the course of Mustache October for documentation/humiliation purposes. Additional photography will be solicited. It is highly recommended that you comply to this solicitation for humiliation purposes.
5. Judges will be FEMALE COC to be decided at a later time. GET READY TO BE TOLD YOU HAVE A GIRLY MUSTACHE BY A GIRL.
6. Eight bucks is the price of a fast food meal. Sacrifice a restaurant visit to help a kid receive a toy under the tree this year and improve the health of your bowels for a day. Entrance fee is $8.00 USD.
7. Winner of best in show gets to pick the charity. All proceeds from this competition will go to a charity.
Remember, everyone's a winner in Mustache October. Some people are just more follicularly-gifted than others. We're judging mustaches here folks, not individuals. With that said, here are the award categories.
Best In Show (THE TOM SELLECK AWARD)
The name basically sums it up. This award is reserved for the most spectacular specimen produced over the course of the month. This is utterly subjective to the judge's personal opinion, no matter how revealing that may be.
Most Disturbing (THE JOE DIRT DNA AWARD)
When you look at this mustache, goosebumps will appear in places you didn't know you had follicles. If you saw a layman on the street with this mustache, you'd warn other people's children about this man.
Most Fitting (THE RON BURGUNDY AWARD)
Sometimes the stars align and a man becomes something... more, with a mustache. This award is given to the mustache that makes a man greater than the sum of his otherwise wholly inadequate parts.
Dirtlip (THE TRASH STACHE AWARD)
The little follicles that couldn't. The recipient of this award can only take solace in the fact that this is all for charity and fun.
The Handlebar (THE HULK HOGAN AWARD)
No need to fear hurricane Dorian when this fella is around. You can hold on for dear life to these handlebars. This award is presented to the recipient with the best handlebar mustache based on the length of the handle,thickness and pure horror.
Imposter ( THE MASTER OF DISGUISE AWARD)
This award is for our female brothers in arms. Ladies i didn't forget about you. This award is for the best female selfie containing a fake mustache. Supporting costumes such as Mario,Luigi, Tom Selleck and Ron Burgundy are encouraged. Stay classy TG.
Pre Existing Condition Class (THE GREEK GOD AWARD)
This is a wholly separate class reserved for the few, proud men who choose to wear a mustache every day of their glorious lives. Members of this class are not required to shave their existing mustaches October 1st, but they are subject to rule #2 listed above. There is only one award for this class, and members of this class are not eligible for any other award categories. Members of this class are encouraged to go for "trick" points as their thick, luxurious, upper-lip base has long been established. All other participants in this competition should bow down to these shiney Greek golden gods who choose to gift us with their pictures of perfection.
What if I can't grow a mustache?
We are always in search of comment comedians and judges.
How much does it cost?
It costs $8.00 USD and one month of you looking like Ron Burgundy or a complete buffoon. Members are encouraged to donate more.
How do input this in ATS?
You don't. Attach a picture as your profile image and live in shame/glory until next October
Who can participate?
Current members of TG
How do i sign up?